A Humble Guide for Improved Self Confidence



If you have ever watched one of those reality shows on television, you will notice that most participants are talented at what they do but the judges often compare them based on some X factor. Simon says, “Hmm…Janie is good but she’s missing that X factor.” And, next thing you know…Janie is going home.


Simon says many things. But when Simon says X factor, it’s often confusing to young children and even teenagers as to what that means. It is certainly not mere self-confidence but a package of several traits. It is perhaps hard to define it with a word, which is why everyone keeps calling it the X factor.

Nowadays, with increased competition, even schools and employers have started looking for this X factor. Everyone’s getting similar high grades, similar degrees and similar qualifications. So, the ones with this X factor get picked everywhere.


But, before you go chasing this X factor and develop your personality, you need to check if you have got the foundation right. Irrespective of how tall a building is, it needs strong foundation so that the building can stand for ages to come. In terms of personality development, self-confidence is the foundation. Even for this X factor we talked about, self-confidence is a pre-requisite.


This blog post is to provide a brief guide on how can young students develop sustainable self-confidence without using fancy techniques or tools. It’s a simplistic approach that can help yield long lasting self-confidence that comes from within.


Appreciate your Positives


We often fall into a spiral thinking where we give more attention to things we did not get right. We dwell on our shortcomings and often replay those moments in our minds. This, more than anything else, hurts your self-confidence. Plus, it’s a crooked image of you. While you should acknowledge your faults, do not let them ruminate in your head so often.


Sit down with yourself every now and then to think about all the good things you did recently. It would great if this could become a weekly exercise for you. You can surely make a note of those things to look back when you are having a bad day.


Distance away from Debbie Downers


You know who they are and you know how they make you feel after talking to them. If you often spend time with people who put you down and make you feel low, ask yourself if their proximity to you is going you any good or not. As we understand, often such people are quite close to us and it is heart-breaking to see how they make us feel.


Try gradually spending less time around such people and pursue stronger relationships with people who make you feel your best. It is easier said than done, but this process is very personal and we believe you can decide how you would like to go about this.


Witness the Magic in Spontaneity


The best moments are often unplanned. On a journey to improved self-confidence, the only plan you need is to not stick too hard to the plans. Allow things to happen in the spur of the moment.


Go for a walk that you didn’t schedule.

Watch a movie that you just discovered while scrolling.

Call a friend just like that.

Head out for a coffee (alone or with friends) because you feel like it now.

You get the gist!


To be honest, there are endless roads to your destination i.e., self-confidence. Choose the one that feels right and we hope our advice has been useful to you. We’ll catch up with you with a new post next week. Have a great week!

Uxbridge, London, England

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